Mar 26 - "Conflicted"

Psalm 22
My God, my God, why have you forsaken me and are so far from my cry and from the words of my distress? O my God, I cry in the daytime, but you do not answer; by night as well, but I find no rest. Yet you are the Holy One, enthroned upon the praises of Israel. Our forefathers put their trust in you; they trusted, and you delivered them. They cried out to you and were delivered; they trusted in you and were not put to shame. But as for me, I am a worm and no man, scorned by all and despised by the people.
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Have you ever felt forsaken by God? Has there been a time in your life when you wondered if He was with you, if He was still watching over you?

Whenever I read the 22nd Psalm, I am struck by the spectrum of feelings it represents on behalf of the Psalmist who wrote it. I encourage you to get the Bible you have on a shelf somewhere in your house, or the one you keep close by at all times (you can just Google it too, of course), and read through the whole thing. It is such an interesting piece of scripture because of its constant turns between despair and praise. You can almost see the giant pendulum of the Psalmist's mind and heart, swinging over its long course...back and forth...back and forth.

The picture the Psalmist paints is that of a man who has lost everything. What comes to mind, for me is Smeagol, the scrawny bag of bones, half-naked character from the Lord of the Rings movies. Not only is the first part of Psalm 22 reminiscent of the constant dialogue Smeagol has with evil alter-ego, Gollum, but the physical appearance the Psalmist describes, "I am poured out like water, all my bones are out of joint...I can count all of my bones..." seems to match this character too. This is a man who is likely standing alone out in a dusty street, walking around in half-crazed circles, shouting at the sky, then weeping in a curled mass in the dirt.

The opening to the Psalm also represents one of the "Last Seven Words of Christ", which he spoke while hanging on the cross. As we all do at times, Christ looks to Heaven and pleads with God on His seemingly forsaken status. Yes, even Christ, who although was fully God was also fully Man, and therefore had a conflicted spirit.

It is also ironic that this Psalm is immediately followed by the 23rd Psalm, arguably the most famous of all the Psalms. The 23rd Psalm sits in stark juxtaposition to the prevalent theme of questioning woven throughout Psalm 22. It is almost a palate-cleansing response, standing assured, saying "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want."; and, "Yeah though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil." I encourage you to read this one too.

Dear friends, all of us have dry times. Each of us wonders if God is with us. We waffle between the sure knowledge of God's work in our lives and the questioning spirit of the seemingly abandoned. God created each of us and His creation is perfect. Do not fear that your spiritual conflict somehow puts you out of favor with God, because you, even in your time of fear and doubt, are a part of that perfect creation.

Read Psalm 22 all the way to the end. You will see the Psalmist rising from the dusty and dry ground. He stands up, straightening his appearance, the countenance of peace crossing his face. He is filled with the spirit of the Lord and stands firmly, praising the power, majesty and grace of the one true God. He has come full circle and is at peace.

So, even in times of great despair, praise the Lord. We all feel conflicted. Remember that words have power, and that by praising God even in your times of doubt, your spirit will once again swing slowly back into the assured faith of His presence, love, care and mercy.